In my newest book, Present: The Crisis of American Fatherhood and the Power of Showing Up, I share some of the story behind our Bags for Dads initiative at Fathers’ UpLift. You can still grab a copy of the book to learn more about our work with fathers nationally, but I wanted to take a moment to lift up this particular part of our story—and the people who made it possible.

Bags for Dads began, like much of the work at Fathers’ UpLift, by listening.

Years ago, a partnership emerged between Fathers’ UpLift and our local house of correction in Boston. That partnership was made possible in large part because of the vision of Karla Walker, who believed something we continue to believe today: fathers are too important to forget simply because they are behind bars.

That belief opened a door for us to begin working with incarcerated fathers.

But if I am being transparent, as an entrepreneur building an organization and juggling more responsibilities than I probably knew how to manage at the time, I could have dropped the ball on that opportunity. There were competing demands, limited time, and all the challenges that come with trying to build something from the ground up.

Then my wife and co-founder, Samantha Fils-Daniels , stepped in.

 

 

Samantha helped save what would become one of the longest-standing and most meaningful partnerships in the history of Fathers’ UpLift. Years later, we continue going behind the walls, sitting with men, listening to their stories, supporting their growth, and helping them prepare for what comes next.

And it was during one of those encounters that Bags for Dads was born.

Sometimes Dignity Looks Like a Bag

One of the men Samantha was working with helped us understand something that might seem small to someone who has never experienced incarceration or reentry.

He talked about the importance of having a bag. Not simply a bag to carry belongings, but a bag containing some of the basic things a man might need when he walks back into the world. Personal care items. Essentials. Things that help someone feel prepared to step outside, travel home, walk through a door, and see his family again with dignity.

That conversation stayed with Samantha. She brought it back to the office. Then she brought it home. And she kept talking about it. For weeks. She understood that this wasn’t really about a bag. It was about what the bag represented. Dignity. Preparation. Humanity. A fresh start.

Eventually, we stopped talking about the idea and made it happen. Bags for Dads was born.

 

Hundreds of Bags—and Hundreds of Messages

Since the initiative began, Fathers’ UpLift has provided hundreds of Bags for Dads to fathers returning home from incarceration and to families preparing to welcome them home.

Each bag carries practical items, but I believe it also carries a message:

• We see you.
• Your past does not erase your importance.
• Your children still need you.
• Your family can still experience a different future.
• And coming home can be the beginning of something new.

 

 

Reentry is about much more than leaving a correctional facility. A father may return home carrying the weight of strained relationships, employment barriers, housing challenges, trauma, shame, financial pressure, and the enormous question of how to reconnect with his children.

We cannot solve all of those challenges with a bag. But we can make sure that when a father begins that journey, he knows somebody thought about him. Sometimes that matters more than we realize.

 

Carrying the Work Forward

Today, I am grateful to see another generation of leaders helping us carry this work forward.

Pictured is Tyerra Osborne, who is coordinating our Bags for Dads efforts during her time with Fathers’ UpLift, made possible through the generous support of our friends at the Forest Foundation.

There is something special about watching an idea that began with a conversation behind the walls become something that continues to grow, evolve, and serve fathers years later.

I remain especially grateful to Karla Walker for the vision that helped plant the original seed and for helping sustain a partnership that has allowed us to walk alongside incarcerated and returning fathers for years.

And I am grateful to Samantha. She listened when a father told her what he needed. She carried his words out of that facility. She refused to let the idea disappear beneath the busyness of running an organization. And because she didn’t, hundreds of fathers have carried a Bag for Dads on their journey home.

At Fathers’ UpLift, we often talk about helping fathers overcome barriers so they can become more engaged in their children’s lives.

Sometimes that work happens in a therapy room.

Sometimes it happens in a fatherhood group.

Sometimes it happens behind the walls of a correctional facility.

And sometimes, it begins with a bag.

We look forward to continuing Bags for Dads for many years to come—one father, one family, and one journey home at a time.

~ Dr. Charles C. Daniels, Jr.

Co-Founder & Chief Executive Officer