Father’s Day 2025 came with an important reminder from Dr. Charles C. Daniels Jr., CEO of Fathers’ UpLift and author of Present: The Crisis of American Fatherhood and the Power of Showing Up. In a widely shared CNBC article, Dr. Daniels pinpoints the No. 1 phrase that hurts dads: “You should step it up.”
Licensed therapist, visiting scholar at Yale University, and clinical social-work PhD
Co-founder of Fathers’ UpLift, the first mental-health & coaching organization in the U.S. dedicated to helping fathers overcome barriers such as incarceration, addiction, and unemployment
Author of Present (Penguin Random House, June 3, 2025)
No father dreams of being absent. Separation often stems from systemic barriers, not a lack of love.
Parenting is a team sport. Community support boosts dads’ mental health and child outcomes.
Every father’s story is complex. Shifting from “bad dad” labels to “imperfect dad doing his best” opens the door to healing.
Language shapes reality. Negative phrases on Father’s Day deepen shame; compassionate words inspire change.
Compassion fuels progress. When we celebrate even struggling dads, families and entire cities become stronger.
“Step it up” implies failure instead of possibility. Research shows that positive reinforcement and clear offers of support drive better engagement from fathers facing adversity. Conversely, shame-based messaging correlates with increased withdrawal, anxiety, and depression among dads, hurting kids in the process.
| Situation | Skip This | Say This Instead |
|---|---|---|
| Dad is struggling to see his kids | “Why aren’t you more present?” | “I know you love your children. How can I support you in spending time with them?” |
| Dad feels guilty about past mistakes | “You need to fix everything.” | “Your effort today matters. Small steps forward count.” |
| Father’s Day greeting | “Step it up, Dad.” | “You are important, and we’re celebrating you today. Help is here when you’re ready.” |
Therapy & Coaching: Tailored mental-health counseling, both in-person and via telehealth
Reentry & Employment Support: Job-readiness programs for fathers returning from incarceration
Family Engagement Workshops: Sessions that welcome mothers and caregivers to co-create healthy co-parenting plans
National Expansion: New offices in Boston, Atlanta, and Cincinnati so help is always close
Read & Share the CNBC Article to start better conversations this Father’s Day.
Pre-order Present to dive deeper into the data and stories behind father engagement.
Donate or Volunteer with Fathers’ UpLift to provide therapy scholarships, emergency housing assistance, and children’s programming.
“When we show up for dads, dads can show up for their kids.” — Dr. Charles C. Daniels Jr.
Ready to support a father in your life? Contact us at marketing@fathersuplift.org or follow @FathersUpLift on all platforms for daily inspiration.